Seriously. I’m fucking tired of hearing it from every single person, including myself, that there are bad things about ourselves that we would like to change. But you know what? I say, we need to believe that we are more than what we give ourselves credit for. We are not ugly people. We are not idiots. We are not everything that society as made a terrible reputation of. We can be good people. We are good looking. We are smarter, more sensible, more tech savy than older generations. We are the kids who wanted more out of life, but never wanted to work hard for it. And because we let the older generation push us around, we grew up believing that. We grew up thinking that we didn’t need to push our selves to get what we wanted. School never helped those who didn’t help themselves. And this habit of neglecting our own bodies, minds and souls, have spilled over into our lives as maturing adults and we’re doing our best to unlearn that which has been hardwired into our very beings. I say fuck this bullshit. I need more out of myself. I WANT MORE OUT OF MYSELF. I want to give back to those who gave to me. I want to give to those who need my help and do it without a second thought. With out thinking if I’ll get something in return. I want to be so much and I’m going to do what it takes because I want it.

It’s just as my dad says; “In my day, people hustled work, no matter how much they got paid for it. $150 for a weekend job? It’s a $150 we didn’t have, and we wanted. So we went out, worked, and took every cent we could. For the “Brains” in school, their “A+” was like $150 to us because they saw their education as an investment that they need not pay taxes on, need not give back to. All the way until college. And even then, those “A+ investments” scored them free college education by way of scholarships and grants. You kids have lost your ability to plan long term. You kids lost your drive to get things done so that you can get further ahead in what ever you’re doing. You all fucking lost it, and it’s so sad and disappointing because it was a good part our fault as parents.. but that doesn’t mean you should give a bum ass excuse that ‘oh, my parents didn’t pay attention to me, or smothered me’ NO! You gotta take responsibility for your own damn self because who knows your needs better than you? And who better to provide for your needs than your own self?”

We really gotta get our shit together. I believe I am a good person. I believe there is always room for improvement. And I’m working all my angles that I can. I’m not getting anywhere fast, but I’m getting somewhere at a pace that neither pleases, nor disappoints me. I’m always doing new things, finding skills, discovering information new to my head, and I’m doing it all because I want to be better than good. I want to be amazing. And I want to be amazing not to myself, but to others. I need to be someone that my younger siblings can look up to because I know they want someone to look up to. I know because I wanted a brother to look up to. I have the greatest honor of being the very person I wanted to look up to, for MY younger siblings.

You people reading this, you need to believe that you’re someone who’s in the process of becoming amazing. You look great, you have awesome skills, unique ability, a loving heart, an intelligent brain. You’re great with your hands, your kiss melts the heart of your crush, your handwriting is great! You speak words of deep meaning, you have eyes that pierce through the soul, your body is so fluid and graceful when you dance, your voice spills through my chest when you sing! Your art is crazy! You’re a bad ass gamer, your piercings are radical, that hair style is funky, you cook the most amazing breakfast spreads ever holy shit!

Seriously, you all have something of worth in my eyes. You all have great potential. Majority of you need to get your head out of your ass because you’re missing out on who you could be, on people that could mean something to you, on the greater parts of life that you cover up with that grey, self pitying, self loathing, attitude that you deflect onto others that you meet. The others who have already started making their way on bettering yourselves, keep it up! Don’t give in to the stress of the world. Do give people a chance to be awesome, and why don’t you offer your help every once in a while? Fuck guys.. make me proud to be a part of a generation of movers and shakers again.

I said it before, but I’ll say it again; I can’t go back to typical fast food. I gotta make my own food already. Things just don’t taste.. right. Self made, at least for me, will ALWAYS be better than any fast food, and a good amount of classy restaurants too. Fuck… it’s brought me to the conclusion that I should never pay other people to make my food. Even in occasion. I’d rather spend my time, money, and energy preparing the occasion myself. Fuck weak wanna be chefs who don’t take pride in the taste of their food, or the quality of their jobs. I’m not a chef by trade, but it’s an important part of my life because I do feed families. I cook for friends, and I make sure it’s fucking delicious and even good for you. I pride myself on taste, texture, and composition. As with any thing I do in my life. I pride myself on being one of the best of my age. And if you want to come up and do what I do, to be on the planes that I’m on, then let’s see you do it. I challenge you to do better. I bet you can’t even get close. Wanna prove me wrong? Wanna prove to your self that you can? Then go out and FUCKING DO IT.

He’s not easily impressed nor amused. That’s something.

Paint and pancakes. Good afternoon

Is it the fact that someone can compose a symphony of words that strikes chords in your heart? Or the content’s meaning? Literal? Interpreted? And why is it that the painful, the sad, and hurtful feelings take dominance in our hearts? Even when all we really seek is happiness?

I hate people that mooch off of my dad. I have no sympathy for these guys. They expect a days pay, but they can’t even prove that they deserve it. Then they give me a weak sob story trying to explain themselves. I swear, the sheer animosity I have is almost overwhelming. Almost… I think the part in my brain that contains the sympathy center was damaged from work. Whatever.

You’ll tire of the feelings of loneliness. Even the lone would like one to give and receive a form of affection. A hug, a kiss on the forehead, running a stray hand through messy hair, interlaced fingers.. even sharing their day with one another. It’s just a place where we, as people, would like to be.

shaychiemi:

I remember the first day of English last semester, a old woman who looked older than grandmother, came in with a bright green blazer with hot pink jewelry and shoes. I remember thinking “oh my gosh is this my professor?”

Though she had cancer, every Tuesday and Thursday at 8 am, she came prepared with a smile on her face ready to face the world. Instead of being stuck in bed or pitying herself she gave every last bit of energy she had to do what she loved to do.

I was honestly scared of her at first. If she saw you from afar she would yell your name and wave her arms up and down with the biggest smile on her face. She was more than just a professor, but she was like a long lost grandmother. She would always send her students personalized encouraging emails, have one to one conferences, and emails on the holidays. 

By the end of the semester, she relapsed and discovered that the cancer advanced into Stage 4 and only have less than six months to live. To see how she wasn’t mad at God for her cancer or wasn’t scared of death, it literally left me speechless. I find it amazing that she actually tried teaching this semester but was forced to retire by doctor’s orders. 

While in the hospital, she sent our class her last emails individually. I still remember getting my last email from her saying that she’s praying for me and for my future career in Criminal Justice, that I was going to make it, and don’t forget to proofread, proofread, and proofread. (Big problem of mine)

On Friday, I found out that she passed away. It makes me sad and all but I know she’s in a better place. I hope one day I can be as passionate in my career like how she was. 

Amazing things happen every day. That is something I believe in. And the people in this world continue to prove to me that they do occur. All it takes, is a little observation, and an open mind, and you can see the wonders in every day we live.